I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
