i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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