Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
