allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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