I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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