just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
