Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
