we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He felt like a one man threesome
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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