I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
