Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize