The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
