the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
