She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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