she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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