i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
