She is in my trunk
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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