my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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