i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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