already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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