Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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