dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
