sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
