From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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