In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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