Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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