just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
