that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
