You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
