I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
