Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
