Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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