i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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