Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
