drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
