so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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