he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
