Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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