My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
