bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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