so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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