idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
