Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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