One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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