Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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