had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
