she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
