Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
