I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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