I can tuck mytits in my pants
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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