I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize