I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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