if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
