sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
