That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
