I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize