I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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