I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
