She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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