fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
