shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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