Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize