Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
