is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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