2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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