You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
