she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
