Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize