Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
