yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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