how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
