He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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