I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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