I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
